You can't get the Toggle style button in infragistics but still you may play with StateToolButton to get the same behaviour. Follow these steps to add and use state button:
1. Add a new tool item with Tool Type "State Button"
2. in your tool click event. put this code.
Dim oTool As Infragistics.Win.UltraWinToolbars.StateButtonTool
oTool = tbmSessionDetails.Tools(ToolItemkey)
If oTool.Checked Then
' Do something
Else
'Do Something
End If